#theholiday

As per usual, in a countdown from Thanksgiving to Christmas, I indulge in a plethora of holiday-themed pictures. And for me, the cheesier the better. I particularly appreciate those ABCFamily, Hallmark and Lifetime gems, but of course, nothing compares to the old school classics like White Christmas, Holiday Inn or Miracle on 34th Street.

However, I do have one year-round-all-time favorite fittingly titled, The Holiday. An impressive cast of actors, great colliding stories and a true romantic comedy that will consistently touch your heart. I can't recall how many times I've seen this movie, but this last time was the first time I really gave more thought to the narration in the opening credits, specifically the quote from Shakespeare's Twelfth Night: 

Basel Mural, 1956-58 by Sam Francis

    

 "I have found almost everything

ever written about love to be true.

Shakespeare said,

'Journeys end in lovers meeting.'

Oh, what an extraordinary thought!

Personally, I have not experienced

anything remotely close to that,

but I'm more than willing

to believe Shakespeare had.

I suppose I think about love

more than anyone really should.

I'm constantly amazed by its sheer power

to alter and define our lives.

It was Shakespeare who also said,

'Love is blind.'

Now that is something I know to be true.

For some, quite inexplicably, love fades.

For others, love is simply lost.

But then, of course, love can also be found,

even if just for the night.

And then there's another kind of love,

the cruellest kind,

the one that almost kills its victims.

It's called unrequited love.

Of that, I am an expert.

Most love stories are about people

who fall in love with each other,

but what about the rest of us?

What about our stories,

those of us who fall in love alone?"

 

What a great way to summarize the many forms of love and relationships that most of us will experience throughout out lives. Love is special and complicated and ultimately, an autonomous choice—to cultivate or repel. But is it really true that the journey ends when you meet the love of your life? Is there really a spiritual soulmate or counterpart for each of us? And once found, is there a perfectly harmonious union of bliss and are you then deemed "complete?" 

I do believe that finding that special someone will only enhance life's precious moments, but I'm not sure I could ever agree that our 'ultimate purpose' is a relentless seek for the love of our life. In fact, I might feel the complete opposite. I might believe that it's not about the happy ending, but moreso about the story along the way. And truly, it is within the conclusion of relationships and the transformational journey after heartbreak that life begins. It is when we are forced to dig deep and find pure joy within our souls by accepting where we are in life and making the most out of everyday. Lover or not, that is the never-ending process we must all endure.

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"Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do." —Brené Brown

#❤️Wall

 

A Broken Heart Is an Open Heart

A quote from Brené Brown's, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, a book I recently finished and highly recommend:

“I define vulnerability as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. With that definition in mind, let’s think about love. Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can’t ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment’s notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow — that’s vulnerability.”

I choose this. I choose to be open and vulnerable, and feel raw emotions as they ebb and flow. To feel and be aware, and intentionally bare your soul to the world and/or someone you care about deeply is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. In return and in Fred Rogers words, "...the greatest gift we can give to anybody is the gift of our honest self." Our honest, true, wholehearted self. I'm all in.

By practicing to live with this transparency, we are mindfully letting go of control, trusting in the process, and engaging from a place of worthiness; a series of choices strung together to create one incredibly positive and authentic life. It is also helpful to remind ourselves that we are all in this together, living through similar experiences and feelings every day, and yearning for connection, created through mutual empathy and empowerment. It is the human condition. With only one precious life to live, why be afraid to share ALL of you? Start by saying, "My story matters because I matter", a powerful Brené mantra that works!

Mt. San Jacinto State Park, March 2016

More common than not, as soon as things get a bit tough or uncomfortable, we (as a society) tend to pull away and numb the emotion. We are impulsive and addicted, want instant gratification, or are just too afraid to rip off the band-aid out of fear of pain and exposure. But honestly, though. What's more freeing than allowing yourself to experience your feelings rather than repeating the vicious cycle of reflecting on them over and over? When you hide from the truth you're robbing yourself of the opportunity to live a more fulfilling and joyful life.

"Allow things to come and go; keeping your heart as open as the sky." —Lao Tzu

I always tell myself to trust the struggle. I gently lean into the discomfort, practice self-love, and remain bold, brave, open-hearted, and steadfast in faith. People and relationships will come and go, helping mold and shape me, and each time, I will come out stronger and more connected with my most spiritual and authentic self. Why? Because I let them in. Because I honored myself, my true self, and was open to experience the depth and love of sharing my heart with another human. 

A broken heart is an open heart❣